All that...and then some

So, random thought at almost-lunchtime on a Monday: airport security. That's right..I'm talking about airport securitaaaay.

Maybe it's not as apparent to people like me-aka, those born in the late 80s-but DANG, security is a whole other affair when we get to the airport. Of course, there's good reason but have you ever really thought about what we go through every time we travel commercial? Well, here's a rundown in case you've forgotten or haven't traveled in the last decade:

1. Take those shoes off buddy...and dont even think about walking through with that coat.

2. Place bag on conveyor, but WAIT!!

3. IF you have a laptop, take it out and place it in one of those gray containers to your left.

4. Also, if you have any liquids over 3 ounces, discard now or get beat down.

5. If you DO have any 3oz liquids in that suspicious-looking bag of yours, please ensure you have placed them into a clear Ziploc bag, or else.

6. OK NOOOW you can place the bag on the conveyor.

7. Sir, please remove your wallet, belt, metal watch, and the like and place them in one of those circular gray thingies on the top of the machine.

8. Please step forward and come through the metal detector.

9. Beep beep beep

10. Step back sir. "Do you have anything in your pockets?"

11. Yes, please place the loose change in "the circular gray thingy" on the top of the machine.

12. Step forward sir.

Wait, where the heck is your ID???? I didn't see your ID..."Sir, step to the side please..."

Oh, airline travel....why do you tease me so? Next time, I'm going in my birthday suit. Easier, no?